it has been a while ago that I have been writing about the project. After Savannah died I went through a depression whereby I strugled at the same time with personal challenges. I went back to Kenya in February and this trip ended in a very big disappointment whereby once again I got confirmed that it is much better and more gratefull to help innocent children then helping people and end up with such a pain in your hearth. I have experienced often in my life that when you help people and you expect something in return it turns out into a big disappoinment. People make promises and when they promise to help me with the project my heart is skipping. Cause someone who knows me well knows also that all I want in my life is to be surrounded with many happy children in Kenya. Giving and receiving love, offering children being aids victims, being rape victims, being orphans or damaged children, a warm home with attention, with education, a future..... When people dont keep their word then my heart is hurt. That is why I love children, they are so innocent and gratefull. Children do understand and accept it when people make mistakes. People often dont accept the word 'Sorry ". They like to socialize together so that they dont need to feel guilty about their shortcomings and admit their own mistakes. People like to remember the "bad" details of a person and forget about the good ones, just to protect themselves. In this world where hate, violence, killings are increasing it is often so simply to create peace.... change the world make it a better place, for you and for me and the children.... the children are the future and we are the ones to show them how they can live together.

However I was happy to see the children again. It is such a pleasure to see them growing, to see them happy and healthy. Every time I return to Kenya and see the children improving I know that this is what gives me an incredible feeling of happiness. I missed Savannah though and found it hard to see the home wihout her. But I know I have to move on for all the other children and those to come....

At this moment Iam planning to return to Kenya in July. Iam busy to follow the road to the financial solutions to get the amount together for the plot. I hope to buy the plot soon so that the next step can be realized the building of a home where we can host 50 children. Iam impressed that I get sometimes emails from other countries from people who have been reading about the home and plan to visit. Iam so touched and gratefull about this. It shows me that Iam not alone at all and that God often want to show me that whenever I feel depressed for a while that there is no need to feel like that. He gives me strenght through words from those people. I should not loose faith, and I wont.

Today I called the home again, like I do regulary and talked to Selina. I heard the children screaming they all wanted to talk to me. I feel my heart glowing and my tears are almost rolling.... missing them... I talked to Selina in Swahili and from now on I will learn this language so that I can talk to them, but also to others and my family, my mother in law!

A friend called me today, in tears. She said Irene please take me to Kenya. I want to help you, I want to do something for the children there. I know I can be usefull to these children. Please promise me... and I told her I will...